Good-bye Princess Dreams OR: "I went to England and all I got was a toaster."

I never wanted to be a princess. But that doesn't mean I didn't want a crack at being queen.

This week, a world full of young ladies heaved a sad sigh as Prince William verified that he had indeed proposed to longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton and that she accepted.

Will and Kate (Photo courtesy of Google Images)

I think every girl born in the Western World  in 1980s had some wild hopes of a chance meeting with Prince William and ending up Queen of England. Julia Stiles' 2004 film The Prince and Me (which involves a Wisconsin girl marrying the Prince of Denmark) did little to expel these delusional daydreams. It could happen, we thought. It really could. I mean what does Kate Middleton have that I don't have?

Okay, so maybe the fact that Kate and I are both commoners is the only thing we have in common. . . .

Upon hearing the disheartening news, I proposed to my friend Donna that we go storm Buckingham Palace.  (This is the only kind of proposal the two of us have been getting lately.)   "I'm in!" she responded quickly. That's about where the scheming stopped. Which is good because that plan really hinged on Donna and I presenting ourselves as two crazy Minnesota girls who the royal family and the entire U.K. population would look down upon in disdain.  

Andy asked what the appeal was with Prince William anyway. I'm not sure anymore. He was so cute a decade ago, but now he's balding and looks chronically tired. Being prince is a lot of work. And I'm sure Kate's not in for a cakewalk either.  

(Notice how Prince Harry, who is actually closer in age to me, handily escaped the whole "heartthrob" thing. Sorry Harry. We still seem to have some societal prejudices against the ginger-haired.)

But I can tell you one thing that's part of the appeal: it's big and blue and has diamonds all around it. 

Princess Di's engagement ring (Photo courtesy of Google Images)

Now normally, I prefer emerald, but there are circumstances where I would compromise on sapphire.

I can also tell you that I lived in London for six months and my path never once crossed with royalty. If that's not a sign that I wasn't meant to be a princess, I don't know what is. 

But I did come back from the U.K. with an amazing toaster which has a U.K. plug and therefore is basically useless on this side of the pond. (If you've ever go to London, the Octopus stores -- they have one in Covent Garden --  have a great selection of perfectly whimsical household wares.) I knew the toaster would be no good for my life in the States. However I planned to display it as a focal point in my kitchen. But I've had the toaster for nearly three years now and I have yet to have a kitchen to display it in.

Ladies, it's time to hang up the princess dreams. We all know we were delusional all along. It's time to focus on more realistic dreams and problems. Like the day my toaster gets to be displayed on a shelf in my very own kitchen.