Who even cares about THAT?!

Lately there's been a bit of an uproar over all the hoopla about  Prince William and Miss Kate Middleton's upcoming marriage. American media gets all goofy when it comes to big news for U.K. Royalty and as per usual, this spring's Royal Wedding's getting hyped to death.With almost two week remaining until the April 29 ceremony at Westminster Abbey, it's easy to wish the media would just give the whole prince/princess wedding thing a rest. I mean, who even cares about THAT?! 

 *shyly raises arm*

I do.

Okay I'm not exactly checking out the Royal Wedding website every day, but what sort of Anglophile would if I didn't have even a passive interest in the pending royal nuptials?When an interesting article about the Royal Wedding pops up on Yahoo, I usually click on it  and . . . read it.

It's not that I really give a fig about what the royals are up to, but I think for many American children, the concept of a monarchy is something so removed from our daily lives that we can't help but get our fairy tale fantasies confused with these very real people. From my earliest days, the Royal Family has always evoked a sense of misplaced wistfulness in me: a faint wish Princess Di could be my mom, then a jovial wish that Prince William could be my husband and now just slight wish that whatever wonderful designer dress Kate gets herself into next Friday from now could be my wedding dress.

Sure the royals are just privileged, purposeless people in the modern world, but those who declare royal weddings most ridiculous must have very cold hearts indeed. I simply can not look at a royal wedding without my inner (and very suppressed) romantic letting out a teensy weensy little squeal. A royal wedding is the epitome of all that is wedding: endless extravagance, senseless traditions, pretty dresses, princess fantasies. What's not to love? (Did I mention the pretty dresses?)

The first time I visited London, in April 2003, Kensington Palace had a royal wedding dress exhibit. I loved seeing how the royal brides' dresses both reflected the era of the wedding and also influenced everyday brides' dresses for years after the royal wedding.

After all, if Victoria hadn't worn white to marry Albert, who knows what color dresses we'd be walking down the aisle in? 

Queen Elizabeth II saved up ration cards for the material used in her post WWII wedding dress.

Princess Di's wedding dress (which I have to admit, I don't much care for) is still culturally relevant today.

And my all time favorite royal wedding dress? Princess Margaret's 1960 number. It's all out class.

 
Sure the media could turn down a notch on Kate and Will wedding hype. But I'm not one to miss this satin, lace, and silk fantasy, no matter how silly it truly is.

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Good-bye Princess Dreams OR: "I went to England and all I got was a toaster."

I never wanted to be a princess. But that doesn't mean I didn't want a crack at being queen.

This week, a world full of young ladies heaved a sad sigh as Prince William verified that he had indeed proposed to longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton and that she accepted.

Will and Kate (Photo courtesy of Google Images)

I think every girl born in the Western World  in 1980s had some wild hopes of a chance meeting with Prince William and ending up Queen of England. Julia Stiles' 2004 film The Prince and Me (which involves a Wisconsin girl marrying the Prince of Denmark) did little to expel these delusional daydreams. It could happen, we thought. It really could. I mean what does Kate Middleton have that I don't have?

Okay, so maybe the fact that Kate and I are both commoners is the only thing we have in common. . . .

Upon hearing the disheartening news, I proposed to my friend Donna that we go storm Buckingham Palace.  (This is the only kind of proposal the two of us have been getting lately.)   "I'm in!" she responded quickly. That's about where the scheming stopped. Which is good because that plan really hinged on Donna and I presenting ourselves as two crazy Minnesota girls who the royal family and the entire U.K. population would look down upon in disdain.  

Andy asked what the appeal was with Prince William anyway. I'm not sure anymore. He was so cute a decade ago, but now he's balding and looks chronically tired. Being prince is a lot of work. And I'm sure Kate's not in for a cakewalk either.  

(Notice how Prince Harry, who is actually closer in age to me, handily escaped the whole "heartthrob" thing. Sorry Harry. We still seem to have some societal prejudices against the ginger-haired.)

But I can tell you one thing that's part of the appeal: it's big and blue and has diamonds all around it. 

Princess Di's engagement ring (Photo courtesy of Google Images)

Now normally, I prefer emerald, but there are circumstances where I would compromise on sapphire.

I can also tell you that I lived in London for six months and my path never once crossed with royalty. If that's not a sign that I wasn't meant to be a princess, I don't know what is. 

But I did come back from the U.K. with an amazing toaster which has a U.K. plug and therefore is basically useless on this side of the pond. (If you've ever go to London, the Octopus stores -- they have one in Covent Garden --  have a great selection of perfectly whimsical household wares.) I knew the toaster would be no good for my life in the States. However I planned to display it as a focal point in my kitchen. But I've had the toaster for nearly three years now and I have yet to have a kitchen to display it in.

Ladies, it's time to hang up the princess dreams. We all know we were delusional all along. It's time to focus on more realistic dreams and problems. Like the day my toaster gets to be displayed on a shelf in my very own kitchen.

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