On Dishing Out Advice

Source: someecards.com via Trisha on Pinterest

Remember when I reviewed Anne Lamott's Some Assembly Required? I just might have forgotten to mention how much I  identified with Lamott's struggle not to give her 20-year-old son and his girlfriend (who also happened to be new parents) unsolicited advice.  You see, I suffer from something we'll refer to as "older sibling syndrome."

I have wonderful, lovely, smart, funny (etc, etc.) brother who is sixteen months younger than I. But pretty much as soon as he was born, I took on the unofficial role of being his second mother. Seriously, when I was little, the thing I got in trouble for most consistently was bossing him around. Oops . . .

As we've grown older, I've transitioned from being Miss Bossypants to the unsolicited adviser. I'd say I try to keep my opinions to myself, but we all know opinions spew out of me like a waterfall. And ever since our visit to MI last month to catch up with brother and girlfriend, I've been damn near brimming with great advice for him.

Oh, that need to advise . . . All of those great ideas that literally churn through my mind about how other people could live their lives more happily and efficiently and be more fiscally secure. Oh, all those decisions I wouldn't have made "if I was them." 

I was talking to my friend Sarah yesterday, who also has a younger brother.

"I don't know why they don't take our awesome advice," I complained. "I mean, look how together our lives are."

[insert snorts and ROFLing here]

Why do older sisters feel so drawn to dispensing largely unwanted advice? Because we really want to help? Or because we want to be right?

I suspect a mixture of both of the reasons stated above lead us to dispense vats of unsolicited advice. Certainly we older sisters are motivated by a rather smug feeling that we know best. (After all, I've been on Earth a whole 16 months longer than my sibling.) But we also feel like when we dispense our advice we're strapping the equivalent of a bike helmet on our siblings.Yet I suspect if you asked your siblings they'd say we're overbearing and trying to swaddle them in a big ol' bubble.

 No one likes unsolicited advice. I've certainly received enough of it to know how unpleasant being on the receiving end of it can be. But despite that little voice that tells me to let others figure it out on their own, I'm still learning to bite my tongue.

Do you suffer from older sibling syndrome? Have you been on the butt end of older sibling syndrome?

 

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Seeking Inspiration: Favorite Writing Books

To be perfectly honest, this March has not been my month.

Remember back when I asked "Do I dare?" Apparently, I dare not because I still have 50,000 words to get tapped out by Thursday to make my goal of writing 50,000 words in the month of March. That's right my friends, I've written a grand total of 0 fiction words this month and unless I got paid to write it, I didn't and even those deadlines were dealt with capriciously. I guess a month that kicked off with a nasty bout of stomach flu about 20 minutes into March 1 and involved lengthy dealings with the auto insurance people (oh black ice, you are not my friend) wasn't destined to be my most inspired 31 days.

But enough about me. While I've gotten a lot of knitting done this month (more on that later this week!) that's not really moving me along towards becoming a self-employed freelance writer. What I need is a kick in the butt. While I try to assure beginning writers that they really don't need to immerse themselves in "how to write" books before actually pursuing a writing career (just get writing!), I do find inspiration and sometimes, answers to puzzling aspects of the lifestyle, in the pages of writing books. When I'm really having a "black dog" sort of writing day, thumbing through one of these tomes is usually enough to get me back on track. 

Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird is, for me, the definitive writing book. I read this in high school when I was first contemplating throwing away all of my worthy career plans becoming a writer. Since then, I've been assigned the book in college and have come back to the pages multiple times on my own. Heartfelt advice with a healthy dose of humorous real life experience, Lamott tells it like it is and in the process makes us realize we're not alone in our struggle with the blank page. Definitely a book that I think deserves to be on every writer's bookshelf. Actually, it should be within arm's reach on every writer's desk. 

 I've only read Jane Yolen's Take Joy in its entirety once, but I often leaf through it and never fail to stumble upon a meaningful passage. Yolen was one of my favorite children's writers and as a result, it feels like advice in this book is coming from a beloved elder. Yolen's most powerful advice? This writing gig is supposed to be a really good time. If it doesn't bring you joy, what's the point, eh? This advice is so obvious, yet never fails to hit me hard with an "oh yeah . . . "

The Productive Writer by Sage Cohen just came out in the last half-year or so and is a book for those serious about turning their writing in their career and their lifestyle. While book does repeat itself a fair bit (perhaps since Cohen is obviously trying to comply with a 200-page contract), I found much of the advice in this book fresh, helpful, and totally in tune with the reality of writing in 2011. Most importantly, The Productive Writer reminds you that there are enough hours in the day to do meet your writing goals. Turns out it's all about choosing writing over knitting. Who knew? 

I've long be on the prowl  for a freelance writing book that deals with the stuff I don't quite grasp about a freelance career yet doesn't dwell on the stuff that I've already heard many times before. Michael Perry's Handbook for Freelance Writing is the best "how to" book I've found on the craft. Maybe I find the book's writing and advice so appealing because Perry's from the Midwest. He makes freelance writing sound like something even us A- personality types might succeed at. You should note that the book was written in the 1990s and as a result some of the advice (especially regarding technology) is glaringly out of date. The bare bones of the book are good enough to warrant overlooking this "issue" and I would totally buy a revised 2011 version of the book if it was available. Hear that Mr. Perry?

Do you have a favorite writing book? Or a favorite "how to" book? 

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What Do You Do With Digital Photos?

When I’m looking for a good rant – and let’s be honest, when am I not? – the topic of digital photography has always lent itself to some good, heated commentary. After all, when picture taking truly became as simple as pointing and shooting, a new era of omnipresent photography was ushered in. And just like that, we had a lot more “photographers.” Many of these recently emerged digital photographers snap beautiful inspired pictures. Others are more like me, trying to capture the daily beauty and wonder we see around us every day, but not doing so with any great technical knowledge of how to go about taking the pictures.

My verdict’s still out on how I feel about the ubiquitous nature of digital photography. It’s lead to the world to be filled with a lot more photographs, most of which won’t be finding a spot on a museum wall anytime soon. Our lives are better documented than ever before. And even if our photographs aren’t destined for greatness, it still means something to us to have pictures of:

Ginormous blueberries.

Or Andy with said ginormous blueberries

Or pretty sunsets on the lake.

In March, when I got my new camera, I thought it was really great that pictures automatically sorted themselves into dated folders when I downloaded them onto my laptop. But since receiving the new, easy to use camera I’ve taken to taking pictures almost every day. The whole dated folder thing isn’t so much fun four months and some sixty pictures folders in “My Pictures” later. Often I have trouble locating a specific picture because I can’t remember the exact date I took it.

So how do we get the proverbial ducks in a row?

What do you do to keep your digital photographs organized and easy to find on your computer?

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